In Memory of the Village Idiot
by 12x
Summary: Forgotten. Remembered. The former is what he expected. The latter is what he feared. Can be seen as a sequel to Secrets Revealed. It can stand alone, however.
1. All in all

My heart pounded. I held in a scream. It hurt, oh, hell, it hurt. I didn't know if I could stand it any longer. Please, just let me go. I didn't mean for this to happen! I wanted to help! Oh, if only I could go back! I felt the blood run down my back, felt the sting of another hit. Pound. Pound. Pound. Pound. I can't take much more. I can't protect myself. They can't know. They can never know. If they did. Oh, hell, if they did. This wouldn't have happened if I told them. If I didn't dismiss it! If I didn't dream that cursed dream! Oh, hell, she's coming again. I can't stop myself. I'm going to-

Scream.

Hurt.

Beg.

Plead.

Stop.

Silence.

Fade.

Whisper.

Disappear.

Missing.

Gone.

Hunted.

Killed.

Despised.

Hated.

_Forgotten._

**_Remembered._**

* * *

><p>"Merlin, Arthurs going to kill you! The hunting trip- oh, god, Merlin, what is?"<p>

"It's nothing, Gwaine."

"Then why are you worse than Lancy after Arthur and Gwen-"

"It's _nothing_ Gwaine!"

"Merlin…"

"Drop it, Gwaine, please."

* * *

><p>I watched my friend. On the walk to the courtyard, I saw him adopt the act he has started. It began after he went after the warning bell. What happened to him? He still did the same thing, laughed, smiled, hell; he even insulted the same way. It wasn't him, however. It hasn't been the same man that was at that fire with me, joking about pheasants. Something happened. I am the only one that seems to have noticed.<p>

He still banters with all of us. It has a cruel, self analyzing edge to it now, however.

And I, _I was worried._

And nobody else cared.

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN: This was supposed to be a happy start. Honestly. Drunk Gwaine and disproving Lancelot and everything! I swear!**_


	2. Scream

Apparently, hunting trips never end well.

We of the Round Table agree this was the worst by far.

The sound echo's through my head, years after it happened.

A scream. Full of desperation, fear. It sounded everything and nothing like the man that changed our lives.

I don't remember much of those hours, but what I do remember is almost too much to bear.

Searching, and finding nothing. Yelling, hoping for an answer.

Finding Merlin's jacket and neckerchief, neatly laid on a rock, soaked in blood and seeming to bleed.

Arthur's reaction. Lancelot's. Percival's. Elyan's. Leon's. Most of all, mine.

* * *

><p><strong><em>AN: The chapters are going to vary in length, and some might seem a bit graphic. The next one, for example._**


	3. Hurt

He never told us what happened when he was gone, but his wounds spoke for him. I literally mean that he didn't speak. He acted like it never happened. I remember the conversation I had with Arthur the night we got him back.

"How do you think he is?"

"Bad. Very bad."

"How do know?"

"The tone of his skin. Its paler, a sure sign of torture spells and blood loss. Another sign of those spells being used is the slight shaking of his jaw, which is also dislocated, possibly partly shattered. The hollowing out of his cheeks. Its prominent, therefore, it happened over the time he was gone. Loss of blood, sleep, and not eating are possible factors. Deep and surface bruising. You can tell by how his arms are wrapped around his stomach. He isn't curled into a fetal position, so heavy damage on his back, possible from being flogged. His breath is long, but shallow. Three broken ribs at most. Three fingers are at an angle. Broken. Wrist is bruising on the other hand, broken or sprained. He limped. A bone broken in the arch of is foot, perhaps."

Arthur just stared at me, and I was disgusted with myself.

* * *

><p><strong><em>AN: This one actually came from a role-play me and a friend were doing from texting. I wrote the discription of the wounds while asleep. Asleep. Honestly. Hence the last line. I'm posting this as I write, so don't be suprised if this is complete by midnight. Still, reviews are welcome. I like knowing if I make you guys think, what you guys feel, ect. Suggestions are welcome, believe it or not._**


	4. Beg

"Merlin. Tell me what happened last month."

"Gwaine-"

"Please, Merlin."

He had stopped up short then.

"I… I can't."

"_Please_."

"Don't hate me. If anything, please don't hate me."

He leaned forward, and said a spell.

* * *

><p>Morgana was suddenly in front of me, Merlin bleeding at her feet. I watched as she tortured him, laughed when he didn't react. Slowly that amusement became anger. I watched for hours as her methods got worse, his will slowly crumbled. Then, as I watched, he started to beg.<p>

"Please, just let me go. I didn't mean for this to happen! I wanted to help!"

She landed a heavy blow on his back, him falling forward and bleeding.

* * *

><p>Suddenly, I was back in Gaius's chambers, with Merlin begging me.<p>

"Please, don't tell the king, I just wanted you to understand, oh, Gwaine, don't tell Arthur. You must hate me now, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm-"

I had pulled Merlin into a hug then, and held back tears when he began to sob, him begging for forgiveness when he had the breath.

* * *

><p><strong><em>AN: Sorry, this is as long as I will take this chapter. I write what it is originally, then only change what I have to for it to make sense. Well, to me at least. Maybe not for you._**


	5. Plead

Pleading.

As I approached Arthur's rooms, I heard Arthur pleading.

Pleading for him to explain.

Pleading for help.

Pleading for hope.

Pleading for him to listen.

Pleading for him to understand.

As I watched, Merlin left Arthur's chambers.

I was the only one to hear Merlin plead for Arthur to _remember._


	6. Stop

Merlin stopped acting, very suddenly in fact. He was, in all honesty, back to his pheasant-joking loyal self.

Arthur stopped treating him like he was useless, but as a friend and an advisor.

Uthur stopped being king, releasing his crown through death.

Gwen stopped glancing at Lancelot, her true love chosen.

Gaius stopped disproving Merlin's actions, and began to approve.

Camelot stopped being a sad place, an evil place.

Magic was returned, and the kingdom started to prosper.

All in all, Merlin stopped being a servant, and became the warlock we never knew was there.

I had stopped worrying.


	7. Silence

Silence rang throughout the castle. The king was gone, along with most the knights and advisors. They were in a distant kingdom, negotiating their surrender. I was left behind to watch over the castle, and the heavily pregnant Gwen. As I strolled through the corridors, not even my footsteps made a sound. I was tense, waiting for an attack or a scream for help at any moment. There was never peace in Camelot. _It. Just. Didn't. Happen._

Disaster never came.

That is, until Arthur came back, Percival's horse on his right, empty of it's rider.


	8. Fade

I watched as Merlin faded into his surroundings, he and I sent to investigate talks of treason. I remember how glad and free he looked as he faded the magic coursing through his veins.

I also faded into the surroundings. Though, my way was much more natural. I walked into the tavern where the meeting was to be held, and bought me a tankard of mead.

Sadly, the mead faded away almost as fast as Merlin had.


	9. Whisper

Then, a month before Gwen had the baby; there was a soft, hesitant knock at my door. Then, Merlin's voice whispered from the hall, asking to come in.

Merlin never _asked,_ he _did._

I let Merlin in hurriedly, unaware of the time of night.

Slowly, after the silence became almost unbearable, Merlin began to whisper. He whispered things of the past, of what he had done for Arthur, for what he had lost. He whispered of betrayal and unreturned love, of forgotten times and erased memories. He quietly told of dragons and goblins, death and poison. He told me of his longing to join the opposition, just to see what it was like, and his disgust with the thought. He poured his heart out that night; it was the last I ever saw of him.


	10. Disappear

Something in me disappeared that night. I still laughed, and I still cried. I was still the same Gwaine. I hadn't even noticed something was gone. But it was gone. Gone with Merlin, never to be brought into the light again.

Only now I know what disappeared.

Our memories. _All_ of our memories.


	11. Missing

All of Camelot knew something was missing. We couldn't figure out what, though. We spent months pondering, wondering, wishing we could figure it out. The babe was born, celebrations happened, and things moved on. We never did find out what was missing, really. The only reason I know is because of an accident.

I only remember because Merlin forgot.


	12. Gone

Merlin is gone. The reality of it hit me hard. In the middle of training, no less. I dropped my sword then, and ran. I kept running. I ran to my room, and searched between my mattresses. There. I pulled out the neckerchief, the one from so long ago. The fabric was still coated with dried blood. _Merlin's blood._

I felt my throat tighten, and bit my lip. My breath came faster, and my eyes prickled with tears. I don't know when I started to cry, but I know I did. Merlin's gone. Merlin's gone. Merlin's gone, oh hell,_ Merlin is gone._ I didn't turn around when Arthur stormed in, didn't acknowledge his presence. He turned me around forcefully, yelling something or another. I didn't even hear him. He saw what I was clutching in my hand, and suddenly fell silent. His hand clasped my shoulder, and he left, but not after I saw him shed a silent tear of remembrance.


	13. Hunted

I had always wondered what it was like to be hunted. To be followed, stalked. To know something was out there, searching for you. To know that if you can't hide well enough, you will die.

I know now that it is not a fate you want to wish on anybody. We were hunting, the Knights of the Round Table, we were hunting for one of our own.

_ Lancelot._

He and Gwen ran off together. Even after everything, they ran. They became the hunted.


	14. Killed

Arthur was killed. Mordred, a man I had never heard of before, stabbed him in the back during a feast in Merlin's memory. The irony is enough to choke on. Merlin's memory will be forever tainted by his failure to protect his destiny. His memory will be tainted by the impossible. He could not have helped. Merlin is gone. No matter what I wish, Merlin is gone.


	15. Despised

The new king was despised, hated. He knew he could not live up to Arthur. He knew that he would be forgotten. I miss that king though. He was wise, and he knew how to listen. He tried, and fought to be the best he could. Yes, Leon was a great king, who died as no man should. Many think of him as a coward for what he did. I believe he did his duty. He protected Arthur's kingdom, even from his own hands. Sir Leon was a better knight than a king, and a better man than a knight. He was the idol of the perfect leader. Being perfect is what made it so he could not lead. Without trust, and a steady voice of reason, nobody can lead.


	16. Hated

I know what it is like to be hated. As the last of the Round Table, the hate of the idea of equality is left to me. I understand why people hate me so. I could not save the people who mattered, as I do not. I hate myself for this fact.


	17. Forgotten, Remembered, And Aready Fixed

We were forgotten. We were not remembered as us. In fact, the myths of our deeds soon became a joke in comparison.

* * *

><p>Merlin and Arthur, they were remembered. They were the ones who got exaggerated, overdone.<p>

* * *

><p>Everything is how it's supposed to be.<p>

* * *

><p>i woke up in my new chambers, the sun shining in the window. sometimes you see things in dreams you don't want to see. I was going to do whatever I could to prevent what I just saw. My eyes widened. The hunting trip today. I got ready quickly, preparing myself to force Merlin to talk, to not let him keep it to himself.<p>

* * *

><p>"Really, Gwaine, it's<em> nothing<em>."

"Just tell me."

_"Fine,_ I had a dream that Morgana was torturing me for something. You happy?"

"Not in the slightest."

"I thought not."

* * *

><p>Thus was the end of the village idiot from Ealdor, and the beginning of the man who fathered the legends.<p> 


End file.
